夢的筆記本

We put an offer on a house last night, please pray for it. The house got 90% of what we need, except for a green, big back yard. This house got a super small yard,  no green grass at all but only concrete floor . This morning I pray and talk to God: dear father, I just need a green space to breathe and have piece in you. Why is it so hard? Do I request too much for that ? My own little oasis? 

我們昨晚對一個房子出價，請為此禱告。這不算是一間夢想中的房子，卻也已經達到百分之九十我們的需求，除了一個擁有綠地的後院之外。這間房子內部可以，可惜就是院子小又綠地全無，只有石頭地板而已。今天早上我向上帝傾訴：阿爸父神，我只是想要有一個可呼吸的綠地，讓我能在你裡面享受平安與寧靜，一個心靈的小綠洲而已，為何就這樣難？難道這奌不重要麼？還是我要求太多了嗎？

God respond me in whisper : "Of course it's important to have piece and rest time. That is exactly why I place you by your husband. Your being suppose to be his oasis as well". Not only the message, I also saw a 3D picture in the heart that God showed me what is the link and meanings of the oasis in relationship. (I saw a building locate on a very small lot, only a very little green space by the building on the lot. The building transferred into my exhausted husband and breath difficultly through the green space, and I saw myself image in the green space. )

上帝輕輕地回應我：擁有平安和寧靜和喘息空間當然很重要，....這就是為何我把妳放在Daniel 妳丈夫的身邊。妳的存在就是他的綠洲。我不單單收到訊息，更在心裡頭收到一個google map 空照圖3D動態影像，被巧妙地連結轉化成關係上的綠洲的意義。我看到疲憊不已的Daniel化身成為蓋得太滿的建築，又在傍在建築旁的一塊小綠地上看到我的身影，而Dan正在透過這塊綠地呼吸。

That is exactly the typical type of holy spirit's work. Not only a  kind and gentle reminder to me, an answer to my question, a new vision to my role, a hint to my calling , but also a teaching and a profound insight with multiple meanings followed with it. This message, filled  me with love, understanding, and tolerance，with specificity . 

這樣的經驗，真的是聖靈工作的標準印記。不但是輕柔仁慈的提醒，是對我疑問的回答，是對我該扮演角色及呼召的重新認識，更是一個帶有多重意義，針對我的現況的教導和深刻省思與覺察。這樣的訊息，充滿了愛，理解，和包容, 但仍然精準無比。

"Slow down, my daughter, you push it too hard. ( there is nothing you need to prove yourself. ) Relax, take a deep breathe ...and give your husband a break.  …There you go. Now you know what to do. "

"My child, You don't need an actual green space to have piece. I am always your oasis. Anytime, anywhere. "

"慢下來，我的女兒，妳太使勁兒了。放輕鬆，深呼吸，放妳老公一馬吧。對了⋯，就是這樣。嗯，妳知道該怎麼做了。"

＂孩子啊，妳不需要用一個實際的院子和綠地來得到妳的平安。我就是你倆的綠洲。＂

We are waiting for agent's respond right now. It's turned out to be the competing offers among 3 groups of people, and we are the third one to put an offer in. We did not put a good price on the offer, even though we know it's a competing situation. ４k below the listing price, because of the  back yard. Our agent had a sigh when she got the number. She seemed try to say something, but she bite her tongue eventually.  My attitude was: if we don't get it, so be it. I won't feel sorry at all ! Dan knows my heart , so I got a mail from him  with some listing options, all with big back yards. I can see he spent quiet amount of time on research. 

在我動筆記下訊息的當下，我們也同時在等待仲介的回應。現在的情況變成是三方人馬同時在競標同一個房子，而且我們是第三個出價的。我們並沒有因此而出賣方要的全額（如同仲介所建議的），雖然我們心裡清楚這是競標的情況。我們只出了低於開價四仟加元的數字，只要是因為後院我不滿意。我們的仲介看到數字後，長嘆了一口氣。她似乎想要說些什麼，但是她終究沒有出聲。我的態度是：如果拿不到這間，那就算啦！我一點也不會覺得可惜！丹知道我的心情，他剛寄了一封郵件給我，上面是一些看房的建議清單，我打開一看，個個都俱備有著大後院。我看得出來，他花了好些功夫在搜尋的工作上。

Surprisingly enough, we got a counter offer back, 2k more, than the house will be ours . We need to respond it right away. Dan called me and told me: "Baby, you don't have to do this. We can still find another house with a good size backyard. "

令人驚訝不已的是，我們居然收到賣家的回覆了。（這表示他選擇優先和我們議價，我們決定放棄的話才換下一家）再多二仟加元，這房子就是我們的了。我們必需儘快回應。丹從辨公室打給我和我討論決定，他告訴我：「寶貝，我們沒有一定要買這間房子的。銀行有多增加了幾萬元的貸款額度了，我們還是可以去找一些後院大一點的房子的。」

"But then it will be so far away from your work!  "

「但是其他的房子，都離你的教會辨公室太遠了！」

"That is okay, it will be pretty much the same time on high way anyway. " Dan said.  I got tears in my eyes, for he is willing to work so hard and trying to meet my need. This is the love of sacrifice , with his single income, his best ability. God opened my eyes, and I can see now how lucky I am to have a husband like this ! 

「沒有關係啦。反正在高速公路上開時間都差不多嘛。」丹尼爾說。我的眼淚流了下來，看到他那麼願意去努力滿足我的需要。這就是犧牲式的愛，他只有一份薪水，但他願意努力給出他所能給的最好的。上帝開了我的眼睛，讓我看到我是多麼地幸運，能擁有這麼棒的丈夫！

"No, it would be too risky, too much stress, and too exhausted for you, specially in winter snow days. "I said. "You are totally responsible for our financial situation , if you think it's good for us, I will support any decision you make. We are still fairly new to the city and the country,we need to make decisions practically . Maybe 5-10 years later, when we get more stable in finance, then you get me my dream house. For now, I can wait."

「不，那樣的話太冒險了，對你而言也壓力太大，而且也太勞累了，特別是在冬天下雪的時侯。」我說。「你現在為我們家的經濟負起完全的責任，我把這個最後決定權交給你。我會支持任何你認為對我們倆都好的決定。我們才剛來這個城市，也算是這個國家的新移民。我們需要根據自已的情況做很實際的決定。也許五年十年後，等我們財務更加穩定了，你再給我買夢想中的好房子吧。至於現在，我可以等。」

Suddenly, I realized that the meanings of a room to breath, not only meant timely and physically, but also meant financially. 

突然之間，我領悟到上帝更深一層的美意了。原來可以喘息的綠地，不單單只是指時間和體力上，更是指財務上。

And as usual, there is never a yes or no, right or wrong answer provided , for God always give me the choices of free will. And I am still so impressed with the power of the message, while it happened so quick like a breath and last only in seconds. And the impact of the message just like echoes of the bell, followed with one layer meaning after another. Not only multiple meanings, but also multiple functions .  The more I taste it , the deeper it goes. And I spent 3 good hours after to just barely record the most message happened in 3 seconds. 

如同往常一樣，上帝並沒有提供給我一個是非分明，對與錯的答案，因為上帝樂意給予我自由選擇權，讓我自己情願做決定。而且到現在，我仍然為著這個只有持續了幾秒且輕如嘆息的訊息所震撼著，因為它的力量，影響力及一層又一層訊息的豐富性，如同暮鼓晨鐘一般，迴盪不絕，越品越有深意，越嚐越有滋味。而我需要花上之後三個小時的時間，也才能大概略地描述記錄出這個三秒鐘的訊息而已。

Before I close it up, the last layer of message just came upon me: "my child, the garden which really needs your time/effort to work on and harvest, is not locate in your backyard , but locate in people's hearts. 

訊息的最後一層，在我要收筆之前臨到：孩子啊，更需要妳去費心耕耘的，不是你家院子裡的蔬菜果園，而是人心啊！

I can totally understand and experience Jonah's reaction at that moment. 

我當時完全可以領會和體驗到，約拿的反應。

Interesting enough, while I was still chewing and swallow the last message, I  got a call from our realistic agent, who informed us that the seller accepted our counter back offer. (The listing price is already pretty reasonable. We got a final price even below the listing price ) . The house without a green yard. Agent told us that she has never seen something like this before!!! She thought we could not get the house !

有趣的是，在我收到並且還在嚐試消化這最後訊息的同時，我們仲介正好打電話過來，告訴我，賣方接受了我們的出價，就是那間沒有綠地後院的房子！（原來賣方要價已經相當合理，而最後成交價比原始要價還要低。）仲介告訴我們，她從來沒有看過這種情形！她滿以為我們一定拿不到這房子的！

Well, I think I know why. After all, God has spent all morning to prepare me in advance, for me to accept the final result more easily. 

嗯，我想我知道為什麼。畢竟，上帝花了整個早上的時間，幫助我預先準備好，來接受這樣的結果。

Ps: I still receive sub-messages relate to it on the next following days. The next day morning, when I stepped on the scale, I was so surprised to find out that I lost 1.6 kg only in a day. Of course I know that I did not take enough water and food for busy receiving messages and writing them down, but more so, I know God removed some of the burdens in the heart as well. Believe it or night, those spiritual burdens have weight. 

附記：接下來的兩天，我仍然持續收到一些副訊息。第二天早上，當我站上體重機的時侯，我驚訝不已地發現我在一天之內掉了一點六公斤。當然我知道這和前一天我因為如此專注紀錄訊息，以致於沒有攝取足夠的水份和食物有關係，但是同時心裡頭我也清楚，上帝透過了這個過程也除去了我心裡的重擔。這些心靈的重擔，信不信由你，是帶有重量的。

SO,this is the house that we are going to move in !

 所以，這就是我們將要搬進去的房子了。